Try as I might I just can't get myself to draw anything anymore, I just don't have the drive anymore. I would just grab a piece of paper and have my .05mm pencil in hand and just go "Now what? You know, I'd rather be on XBL right now.." then just set everything aside.

And that's the thing, I believe I've been drawing for the wrong reasons -- For the longest time, probably almost the entire stretch of me being here on dA, I mostly drew for other people. I drew for close friends often, and they're mostly gone. However when I did draw for myself, it usually due to the fact that I'm either depressed, angry or just seeking attention, and those are the wrong reasons to just keep drawing I would think. I think that's why I never really improved and couldn't do much of anything, a sort-of evolutionary dead end. My artwork (besides my IDs and the 60th picture) was fueled with some of those negative emotions, and I just can't get myself to do it anymore.

I've got a pretty good life right now, I've got the love of an amazing woman and my job (although I'd rather have higher pay XD) couldn't get anymore fun and suitable for me. I'm not depressed, angry, starved for attention, etc. and that may be a part of why I can't draw anymore.. There's also a lot of people that I used to draw for to get their appreciation.. Hell, one girl I was so blinded in love that I think she's the primary reason I stopped drawing (but that's what, 7 years ago?).. and as far as some of my friends, almost all of them are gone now either to them disappearing or just them not caring, whatever it may be (nor should I be bothered by them.)

I'll leave the submitted count at 60, and no I probably won't take them down since to me that's just as close as abandoning the past I might end up taking this and.. restructuring it a bit.

To those who watched me for inspiration and expectation, I'm sorry for not living up to your own individual standards, you're better looking elsewhere for artness.. I may not be drawing, but I might end up coming up with something else though, who knows?

If you know how to get me to draw again, you're sure as hell welcome to try, but now this'll be the standstill..

..Watch this space. I may have declared the death of my artwork, but that doesn't mean the soul has left the building yet.

--R. Kisaragi

P.S. If you read all this and understood it, then thank you kindly for your time.